Audrey Edwards, Hung-Yi (Henry) Chen, Laksha Chhaddva, Sarah Manwani
Let’s face it, ghosting sucks. Some may comment on the exchange above and say no response is a response, but does that provide effective closure in breakups? Although most people feel indirect breakups are outright disrespectful, the reality is that many of us are guilty of engaging in unhealthy breakup practices. However, has the rise of the Digital Age made this problem worse than before? Our study investigates how breakup practices differ amongst the two generations, Millennials, and Gen Z. Through our exploration of dating differences between these two generations using surveys and interviews, we found that tech use is more common in romantic relationships and breakups amongst Gen Z and indirect breakups are more common amongst Millennials. Ultimately, while the fact that indirect breakups wear is different, it seems like our tendency to do so is little changed by the prevalence of digital technology, one way or the other.
Introduction and Background
Our study intended to assess the effect of technology on relationship practices between Gen-Zers (born between 1997 and 2012, according to Dimock (2019)) and Millennials (born between 1981 and 1996, according to Dimock). We know that technology has impacted both Gen Z and Millennial romantic relationships, but the impact of tech use on romantic relationships is contested. Christenson’s (2018) study found that heavy social media users experience a severe decline in the quality of interpersonal relationships. On the other hand, Nicolas (2020) found that relationships formed on social media achieve similar self-disclosure and companionship as in-person relationships. More generally, Seemiller and Grace (2018) contended that Millennials were self-absorbed and ill-equipped to deal with meaningful relationships, while McGuire (2015) finds that Millennials still learn proper romantic expectations. The emergence of ghosting (the sudden cessation of communication over digital platforms) as a breakup method has further increased academic alarm, with LeFebvre and her colleagues (2019) finding that 96% of the college students they interviewed had been a part of ghosting interactions in some capacity. With this disagreement in scholarly assessments of technology and the younger generations in general, we feel that the healthiness of relationships experienced by these generations is worthwhile to study, with breakup methods as a good proxy. Baxter (1984) found that indirect breakups (without telling the partner directly, as in ghosting) were associated with self-centered breakups, prolonged the breakup process, and were a source of regret for breakups. Therefore, we expected that Gen-Zers were more likely than Millennials to use indirect breakup methods and to use technology in their breakups. If this hypothesis is true, then it demonstrates that tech use is likely to have a negative impact on breakup methods, since the biggest difference between Millennials and Gen-Zers is their exposure to tech use (as a consequence of their respective birth years).
Methods
To study the effects of technology on break-up methods, we sent a survey to Gen-Zers and Millennials that we knew and asked them to send it on to other Gen-Zers and Millennials that they knew as well. The survey was conducted through an anonymous Google Form to enable honest responses to sensitive questions. Ultimately, 27 Gen-Zers and 20 Millennials responded to the survey. The survey asked respondents how much they agreed with statements about the prevalence of technology use in their romantic relationships and their experience with breakups. The questions used the Likert scale, with respondents stating their agreement from “strongly agree” to “strongly disagree,” and binary (Yes-or-No) questions concerning whether they had encountered or engaged in specific break-up strategies described in Baxter’s (1984) study.
To complement the survey, we also conducted anonymous interviews with three Gen-Zers and two Millennials that we knew. Each interview proceeded with a set of interview questions that covered the same topics as the survey, but in an open-ended way. The interviewees were encouraged to go into detail on their experiences that relate to the questions, such as by describing the break-up experience in narrative form rather than merely categorizing it. Since the survey’s responses relied on the Likert scale and binary questions, which included no way to explain the answers, we needed a way of discovering more nuance in the relationship between technology use and healthy break-up methods. The interviews, which were fewer in number but far more detailed, provided a way to get into the details.
Results
The survey results show that indirect breakup methods are less preferred by both Gen-Zers and Millennials compared with direct breakup methods. However, Millennials are more likely to have used indirect breakup methods than Gen-Zers. 30% of Millennials report having broken up with someone indirectly, versus 15% of Gen-Zers. The results illustrate that Gen-Zers have been broken up over text more often than Millennials, with 44% of Gen-Zers having experienced this versus 25% of Millennials. The key takeaways that we acquired from the interview questions were that both Gen-Zers and Millennials predominantly prefer direct break-ups rather than indirect breakup methods. On the other hand, one of our Gen-Zer interviewees preferred to break up indirectly, especially if they were not in a serious relationship with their partner. This somewhat contrasted our findings, but our interviewees still largely preferred direct over indirect breakups, and they were generally of the opinion that indirect breakups are messy and disrespectful.
The results illustrate that Gen-Zers have been broken up over text more often than Millennials, with 44% of Gen-Zers having experienced this versus 25% of Millennials.
Analysis
According to the results, Millennials tend to break up in person, whereas Gen-Zers break up less in person and more over text than Millennials. This confirms our hypothesis that tech use is more common among Gen-Zers for breakups. On the other hand, Gen-Zers are actually less likely than Millennials to break up indirectly, which contradicts our hypothesis. While this does not necessarily indicate that tech use leads to healthier breakup methods, it does put a wrench in the scholarly speculation that they render younger generations actively unprepared for romantic relationships.
However, Millennials are more likely to have been broken up with in-person than Gen-Zers, with 75% of Millennials having experienced this versus 37% of Gen-Zers.
Discussion and Conclusion
Our hypothesis that Gen-Zers would engage in more indirect breakup methods than Millennials was incorrect. Contrary to our expectations, it doesn’t seem like Gen-Zers are less equipped than Millennials to deal with breakups. However, we found that technology was more extensively used in Gen-Zer breakups compared to Millennial break-ups. This verified our hypothesis that Gen-Zers use technology in romantic relationships more than Millennials and suggests that there was no correlation between being exposed to technology and the tendency to use indirect breakup methods. This is important because it suggests the rise of technology use by Generation Z doesn’t affect their relationship readiness as negatively as scholars fear. Moreover, neither of these two generations exhibited any special tendency towards indirect breakups compared with other generations. Baxter’s (1984) study found that 49% of the relationships examined were broken up through indirect means. This rate is much higher than the 30% of Millennials and the 15% of Generation Z who had engaged in at least one indirect breakup in our study. While the numbers are not fully convertible and the Baxter study involved more interviewees, one could reasonably conclude that Millennials and Generation Z are not more likely, and are quite possibly less likely, to use indirect breakup methods than Baxter’s Baby Boomer subjects. Of course, break-up methods are only a small part of the overall process of a relationship, but this finding supports the opinion of scholars who feel that the younger generations are as capable of healthy relationship practices as the older ones.
References
Baxter, L. A. (1984). Trajectories of Relationship Disengagement. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 1(1), 29–48. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407584011003
Christensen, S. P. (2018). Social Media Use and Its Impact on Relationships and Emotions (Order No. 28107583). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses A&I; ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (2442249267). https://www.proquest.com/dissertations- theses/social-media-use-impact-on-relationships-emotions/docview/2442249267/se-2
Dimock, Michael (2019). Defining Generations: Where Millennials End and Generation Z Begins. Pew Research Organization. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/01/17/ where-millennials-end-and-generation-z-begins/
Krafchick, Julie and Yue Xu. (2020, March 10). Millennial vs. Gen Z Dating (No. S10E5) [Audio podcast episode]. Dateable. Drank Production. https://www.dateablepodcast. com/episode/s10e5-millennial-vs-gen-z-dating
LeFebvre, L. E., Allen, M., Rasner, R. D., Garstad, S., Wilms, A., & Parrish, C. (2019). Ghosting in Emerging Adults’ Romantic Relationships: The Digital Dissolution Disappearance Strategy. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 39(2), 125–150. https://doi.org/10.1177/0276236618820519
Mateo, Ashley. (2019). How to Break Up With Someone Without Hurting Them. Oprah Daily LLC. https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a27865922/how-to-break-up -with-someone/
McGuire, Kate, “Millennials’ perceptions of how their capacity for romantic love developed and manifests” (2015). Masters Thesis, Smith College, Northampton, MA. https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses/659
Nicolas, É. M. (2020). The Impact of Social Media on Adolescent Attachment Style for Generation Z (Order No. 27737202). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses A&I; ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (2348090364). https://www.proquest.com/dissertations-theses/impact-social-media-on-adolescent-attachment/docview/2348090364/se-2
Seemiller, C., & Grace, M. (2018). Generation Z: A Century in the Making (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429442476
Further Reading and Listening
- This episode of the Dateable Podcast explores more ways in which digital technology has affected Gen-Z romantic relationships.
- This blog-style article from the Oprah Daily explores healthy breakup methods, including why direct breakups are essential.